You Wanna Hear A Story?
More and more people started telling me that I was “getting too skinny”, or that “I need to eat more,” or that “I need more meat on my bones.” And that shit HURT. Coming from friends, elders, family. I would cry myself to sleep. I would purposefully cover myself up, or not take my shirt off at dance practice, and I eventually stopped dancing for a while because of my fear of criticism. I stopped taking pictures of myself. I let these words hit me, penetrate me, break me, poison my insides until I was a damaged person with no self-esteem. Funny thing was…I just got over the “you’re getting too fat/you should diet” phase in my life. If I were to choose one enemy in my life, it would be the opinions and criticisms of others.
Anyways, I was just looking through pictures of me to post for a #TBT hahaha. And I noticed something…throughout the years, my body looks the effing same. The only physical difference is that my baby face is gone and I don’t have biceps anymore haha. But, being my worst critic, I analyzed myself. I look the damn same. My sight was blinded by the opinions of others for YEARS when all along my changes weren’t as catastrophic as I believed them to be. And that got me PISSED. All of those nights I would cry, all of those times I would isolate myself to avoid criticism…….I was being CONTROLLED by opinion!!!
I couldn’t believe it. The only thing I need to change is how thin my skin is. Moving on.